Pregnancy Q & A & more!
1. Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough
2. Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.
3. Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.
4. Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?
5. Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.
6. Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.
7. Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.
8. Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.
9. Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.
10. Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.
1. Everyone around you has an attitude problem.
2. You're adding chocolate chips to your cheese omelet.
3. The dryer has shrunk every last pair of your jeans.
4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say.
5. You're using your cell phone to dial up every bumper sticker that says:
"How's my driving-call 1- 800-".
6. Everyone's head looks like an invitation to batting practice.
7. Everyone seems to have just landed here from "outer space".
8. You can't believe they don't make a tampon bigger than Super Plus.
9. You're sure that everyone is scheming to drive you crazy.
10. The ibuprofen bottle is empty and you bought it yesterday..
TOP TEN THINGS ONLY WOMEN UNDERSTAND
10. Cats' facial expressions.
9. The need for the same style of shoes in different colors.
8. Why bean sprouts aren't just weeds.
7. Fat clothes.
6. Taking a car trip without trying to beat your best time.
5. The difference between beige, ecru, cream, off-white, and eggshell.
4. Cutting your hair to make it grow.
3. Eyelash curlers.
2. The inaccuracy of every bathroom scale ever made.
AND, the Number One thing only women understand:
Blessings my friends.
Loved it! I could so relate to 4. Your husband is suddenly agreeing to everything you say. Steve can be sweeter than sweet sometimes, bless his heart.
ReplyDeletecracking up!!!! I especially like the one about avoiding pregnancy when recovering from labor. LOL.
ReplyDeleteGreat list! Very funny!! I can totally relate! :)
ReplyDeleteLOL - my personal favorite, lol. :)
ReplyDelete4. Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?
Thanks for the laughs...
ReplyDeleteI love those top 10's! Thanks for the laugh!
ReplyDeletetoo funny! the estrogen ones cracked me up...i feel like that each day!!!!!
ReplyDeletethanks for sharing...can't stop giggling!
I can relate TOO much to TOO many of those! LOL!
ReplyDeleteI posted something I wrote a few years ago for a small group of friends... right after one of them got me to try beading. (It wasn't pretty.)
That was great. I needed that laugh after this week.
ReplyDeleteGreat funnies!
ReplyDeleteOh I have to tell you one that is funny, but I am not going to linky dinky that thing ok??? The other day we had the grandkids, and when Caleb was going to bed he said his faced itched. I thought the dogs might be making him itch or something so I told my husband to get the anti itch cream off my night stand or out of the medicine cabinet in my bathroom. So in a few minutes Caleb came out and showed me that grandpa had taken care of him. Then I hear Scott start laughing, I mean he is Hee Hawing big time. I said, what in the world is wrong with you. He said, Oh Lisa you are not going to believe this. I fear what he had done. He said, he had laid the tube down on the cabinet and when he came back to put the cream on Caleb's face, he picked up the wrong one!!!! I really was afraid what he had done to this poor child. He said he had smeared my Pro-Enamel (expenisve) toothpaste all over Caleb's face!!! Believe it or not, Caleb said his face didn't itch any more!!!! Still made him to wash it off and put the right cream on!!! I laughed so hard I was crying. At least it was not some "female"cream or something like that...Oh lordy lordy I laughed so hard.
ReplyDeleteOk, I just had to share that with you.
Help, please. I am trying to get a "mr. linky" on my blog and went to the Mr. Linky site. Did you create your own meme? Just curious how you went about it...
ReplyDelete