"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those
who are willing to work and give to those who would not."
--Thomas Jefferson

Monday, October 27, 2008

At The Well-Arise and Shine: Being an Exceptional Mother in the Midst of the Ordinary

At The Well
Lisa over at A Second Generation of Homeschooling has chosen the topic of Arise and Shine: Being an Exceptional Mother in the Midst of the Ordinary. She has raised some thought provoking questions below. Make sure you go to here site and read her heart on this matter.


1. What daily tasks seem mundane or monotonous to you?
2. How can we change our outlook when completing these tasks?
3. What impact do these tasks have on our husband and children? How does it make a difference in their lives?
4. Is it okay to focus on earthly recognition when completing these tasks for our loved ones, or is receiving an eternal reward sufficient? Which does Jesus think is more important? Shouldn’t that be our focus, as well?



Wow! When I read those questions I immediately flashed back about 12 years ago. I was newly married and now a stay at home wife and mother. Where is the manual on those two jobs? I had worked a job since I was 15 years old and when you learn a job they explain things to you, you do them, you get paid, you go home. So where's the manual again? There I was, new wife, new stay at home Mom of a 2 year old and no manual. I never really paid attention when I was growing up to what my Mother was doing all day. I was at school doing my thing and when I came home the house was clean, dinner was always on the table, the dishes got cleaned, my laundry was always done. She must have had help right? Me? No way! I didn't help her. I didn't think it was my job and nobody made me. Not to say she didn't try because she did. I was just too lazy and too selfish. So let's go back to that first 6 months of marriage. I had no idea of how to keep a home. There were always dirty dishes in the sink, the laundry would stay in the basket and hardly ever make it back to the drawers, and what in the world do you do with a 2 year old all day? I'd send my husband off to work to fend for himself for lunch (from the comfort of my bed I might add) and well, a home cooked meal consisted of something that came out of a box.(When does that cleaning lady come?) I now wish I would have listened to Mom. Needless to say I was in way over my head. BUT as time went on my heart began to change. As I sought the Lord he would reveal scripture to me that would make me see my roll differently.

Proverbs 12:4

An excellent wife is the crown of her husband,
But she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones.
Was I being an excellent wife? No way!

Proverbs 31:28

Her children rise up and call her blessed;
Her husband also, and he praises her.

Was my two year old going to call me blessed someday? Not at this rate. Is my husband praising me? I wasn't giving him much to praise about.

Fast forward to today. A lot has taken place in those 12 years. A lot of growing, sacrificing, giving of ones self. Things I wouldn't change one bit. I've grown because I allowed the Lord to grow me, to change me, to mold me into the woman I am today. I desired to be the Titus 2 woman. My husband deserves it and so do my children. Now a days I get up an hour before my husband does and 3 hours before the kids do. In that time I make my husband lunch for the day, make his breakfast and his coffee. When he gets up all he has to do is get dressed, eat and go. He knows he can trust me to do these things and it is less stress on him. He does so much anyway. I then have quiet time with the Lord and that sets my pace for the day. I am happy and pleasant when the kids get up and greet them with a smile. This wouldn't happen if I had just gotten out of bed 2 minutes before they did. Trust me I've tried it. I'm sure my husband said a lot of prayers on my behalf and I am ever so thankful.
I truly am thankful for the home God has provided for me to keep and the husband and kids he has put in my care. I do things through different eyes now. This verse below pretty much nailed it on the head for me.

Titus 2:5

to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.

Every day brings new and exciting adventures. May you take joy in what you do and do it as unto the Lord.
I'm not really sure if I answered all the questions but this is what stirred in my heart to share as I read them. I hope you will be encouraged by it. It was pretty hard to admit some of those things. I'm so glad that I've been forgiven and given a second chance.
From My Heart to Yours!

19 comments:

  1. This was good timing! I am trying to "step it up a notch" in my daily activities...taking better care of my home and finding out what I can do to make my husband's life easier. Thanks for posting this!

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  2. Oh, Kim, what a great post. Like you, I rise early to take care of my husband before heading off to work for us all day. It took a long time to get to this point but I wouldn't want it any other way. Thank you for sharing your heart. I needed this post!!!

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  3. Kim, You can write, girl! Wowzer. You know, I agree with everything you said, but I do believe one of the highlighted points is waking up before everyone else. That has significantly changed my routine. Like you, I did not learn the "domestic" duties when I was growing up, for different reasons, but with the same outcome. I didn't have a CLUE what to do. I cried over cooking my first "meal." I remember getting angry the first time Brian questioned the way I did the laundry, and on and on.

    But how cool that God can take the completely incompetent and turn it into something useful. I'm still not the best around the house compared to a lot of women (which honestly I try not to compare anymore), but I'm pleased with the progress the Lord continues to make in me. Ain't He grand?

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  4. Wow. What a wonderful example of how we as godly women can go from "ordinary" to "EXTRAordinary" in our calling as wives and mothers. Thank you for sharing what you have learned along the way so we can also learn. -Blessings, Laurie

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  5. I love the fall look of your blog! Also I just noticed that you are from Florida, so am I!
    I also missed the manual on keeping a home(!), and enjoyed so much your sharing on how the Lord taught you to love and care for your home. I can so relate to so much of your early years and am so thankful to God for His teaching. Getting up earlier than the family is one of my best tips also along with taking care of dear husband which truly makes his life easier. Loved your post!

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  6. This was a great,real post! Thank you! I'm still working on getting up before anyone else! Ha! Daniel stays up late some nights and I just can't get up as early as I want the next morning. I pray I can soon. I like to get up grab some breakfast and do my time with the Lord before he gets up. Thanks again for your testimony!

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  7. Oh, how I wish I could look back on the last 18 years and see so much improvement! Yes, there's been some, but mostly that's happened in the last year or two. And there's still so far to go!

    There's so much lost time that can't be made up. I keep asking God to "restore the years that the locust has eaten" (Joel 2:25). He is gracious!

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  8. Awesome post, Kim! I didn't get the manual either, but I did get The Manual - the Bible! Unfortunately, I didn't start using it until later in Kristyn's rearing years, but it worked. As I began to view my place in their lives as God had actually placed me in their lives, those chores seemed a little easier to do!

    I'm so glad God stirred your heart to share with us the wisdom and encouragement you had for us today!

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  9. That is a very sweet posting and you are a good example. I wish I could have been that kind of mom and wife while my children were growing up, but it was not meant to be. Good job!

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  10. This is a gorgeous post, Kim!! And you said you couldn't write the serious posts, only the funnies!! I agree with every word you said.

    You know my story, how I ran and ran, getting over my head with DOZENS of church ministries, all to the neglect of my home, just so I could receive the applause of man. I think many women are like that, whether it be church ministry, homeschool leadership, community involvement. None of those things is wrong, but, often, we way overkill and take on an excessive plateful, because we are yearning for the applause of man that doesn't come with caring for a home and children. We want to be told what a great job we did and that they couldn't do it without us. May we remember that it truly is the Lord Jesus we are serving in our homes, and his applause is the only applause we really need.

    Colossians 3:23-24 says "Work hard and cheerfully at whatever you do, as though you were working for the Lord rather than for people. Remember that the Lord will give you an inheritance as your reward and the Master you are serving is Christ." (NLT)

    Looking at it that way, can help us with the "mundane" jobs of taking care of our homes.

    Blessings,
    Patti

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  11. What timing. Time for my fall cleaning, getting ready for winter.

    But, rise up early....not me.

    Maybe I need to pray.

    June

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  12. Good morning Kim,

    This post was awesome, my friend. And I can so relate in a lot of ways. I, too, am grateful that God's Word is growing me still into that woman he wants me to be!

    A willing heart is a beautiful thing, my sweet friend. You've blessed me this morning! ((hugs)) to you!

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  13. Kim, this was just beautiful and very inspiring for me personally. I am struggling with these issues now and sincerely desire to do better. I know that the Lord can help me do it! But I would appreciate your prayers for me in this area.

    Thank you, my friend!

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  14. Thank you for being so open today. It is encouraging to know that God can take us in our weaknesses, when we don't even know what the right thing is to do, and teach us and mold us into wonderful wives and mothers. I realize I don't know what I am doing because I didn't see it when I was growing up and I have to believe that God can use other ways to teach me. Thanks for sharing.

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  15. Thanks for sharing your heart....your post was truly a blessing.

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  16. Oh maaaaaaaaannnnnnnn...talk about a wake up call. There has been stuff I need to do and have been avoiding it forever cause I just don;t feel like it! Guess thats NOT the way to do it. Great thoughts and inspiration!

    God bless-
    Amanda

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  17. Thanks so much for the encouragement and challenge. It was definitely needed. I need to start setting the alarm! Have a great day.

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  18. This was great! Loved your honesty! We mom's are truly blessed.. we just need a good encouragement or kick in the pants every once in awhile..LOL.

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