"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those
who are willing to work and give to those who would not."
--Thomas Jefferson

Friday, September 25, 2009

Friday Funnies

Oh man! I didn't realize it but last week was my Friday Funnies one year anniversary. I can't believe I've been hosting it for that long. Boy time does fly. I hope you all have enjoyed it as much as I have.

If this is your first time here and you want to join in on the fun, just go post your family friendly funny and then come back here and link directly to your post.
Let's spread some funny today!!


Hello and thank you for calling The State Mental Hospital.

Please select from the following options menu:

If you are obsessive-compulsive , press 1 repeatedly!!!

If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2 for you.

If you have multiple personalities, press 3, 4, 5 and 6.

If you are paranoid, we know who you are and what you want. Stay on the line
so we can trace your call.

If you are delusional, press 7 and your call will be forwarded to the Mother

If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you
which number to press.

If you are manic-depressive , it doesn't matter which number you press, nothing
will make you happy anyway.

If you are dyslexic, press 9696969696969696.

If you are bipolar, please leave a message after the beep or before the beep or
after the beep. Please wait for the beep.

If you have short-term memory loss , press 9. If you have
short-term memory loss, press 9. If you have short-term memory loss, press 9.

If you have low self-esteem , please hang up. Our operators are too busy to talk
with you.

If you are menopausal, put the gun down, hang up, turn on the fan, lie down and
cry. You won't be crazy forever.

If you are blonde, don't press any buttons, you'll just mess it up anyway.

Happy Friday Everyone!!!


  1. Ha! you did hospital..that is where I am and I posted about a funny oops for someone that is going to have surgery....a theme seems to be starting already :) hmmm
    Happy Friday.....I couldn't NOT post my Friday Funny

  2. Oh, those were good!!! Thanks for the laugh!

    Happy 1 year meme anniversary!

  3. F-U-N-N-Y!

    Happy Friday Funnies anniversary! I hope it's a hilarious one!


  4. Oh my goodness...you are too funny. This was hysterical. One year we have been making people laugh on Friday's? No way. Congrats!

  5. One year...Congratulations on making others laugh a little more! This is so funny! I like the blonde line. Happy Friday, my precious friend.

  6. Hide quick!
    The little men in white jackets are coming for you! ( ^ ;

  7. I love the delusional one about the Mother Ship....LOL! Thanks for sharing this!:) Have a great day!

  8. LOL...oh yeah, that one's funny!

  9. I do love that one - so funny! I can't believe it's been a year of Funnies - wow!!

    Big if-you're-a-homesteader-in-need-of-canning-instructions-press-5 hugs to you!! :) I hope you have a fabulous day my friend and get all your errands and things done!

  10. Kim,

    This is so great! I love all the options and I think that they have been captured hands down!

    Not sure just which one I would press since I am not sure why I would be calling a mental health institution. Oh yeah, it was to listen to the funny phone menu prompts! :)

    Happy 1 Year Meme Anniversary!

    Love and Hugs ~ Kat

  11. LOL - that's funny! :) Hmmm, not sure which category I fit into, lol

  12. Since I'm blonde, I'm not touching a thing. Did I spell blond wrong? LOL.

  13. Hi Kim,

    Thanks for always sharing something funny on Friday. I didn't sign up this week. But I found a super funny video on Facebook that I posted on my FB page. I posted a pic of Hannah and me laughing on my blog today in honor of fostering a light heart.

    HUGS and CHOCOLATE your way!

  14. Oh, LOLOLOLOL!!! OK, I admit I've seen it before, but forgot so it's funny all over again. I also forgot today's Friday and haven't had a minute to hustle around for a funny. But at least I did one for your anniversary. Now I need to go push some phone buttons. Maybe I'll find a cat to walk on them and play Russian roulette. And they're coming to take me away, haha, to the funny farm where life is beautiful all the time and I'll be happy to see those nice young men in their clean white coats and they're coming to take me away hahahahhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.......

    Love ya loads, organized one!
    Have a JESUS-filled day! ^i^

  15. ROTFL!! So funny. I can relate to the menopausal one, unfortunately! Little note: Bipolar is the same as manic-depressive.


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