"The democracy will cease to exist when you take away from those
who are willing to work and give to those who would not."
--Thomas Jefferson

Friday, February 11, 2011

Friday Funnies! Women’s Dictionary Terms!

friday funnies

HAPPY FRIDAY!

I hope you had a good week. But whether you did or didn’t I think we need a few good laughs today. So if you have  family friendly funny that you’d like to share, please feel free to link it up below. It can be a funny video, story, picture etc.

Join in the fun.

 

This just made me laugh!

Enjoy!

Dictionary for women

Argument (ar*gyou*ment) n. A discussion that occurs when you're right, but he just hasn't realized it yet.
Airhead (er*hed) n. What a woman intentionally becomes when pulled over by a policeman.
Bar-be-que (bar*bi*q) n. You bought the groceries, washed the lettuce, chopped the tomatoes, diced the onions, marinated the meat and cleaned everything up, but, he, "made the dinner."
Blonde jokes (blond joks) n. Jokes that are short so men can understand them.
Cantaloupe (kant*e*lope) n. Gotta get married in a church.
Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks.
Diet Soda (dy*it so*da) n. A drink you buy at a convenience store to go with a half pound bag of peanut M&Ms.
Eternity (e*ter*ni*tee) n. The last two minutes of a football game.
Exercise (ex*er*siz) v. To walk up and down a mall, occasionally resting to make a purchase.
Grocery List (grow*ser*ee list) n. What you spend half an hour writing, then forget to take with you to the store.
Hair Dresser (hare dres*er) n. Someone who is able to create a style you will never be able to duplicate again. See "Magician."
Hardware Store (hard*war stor) n. Similar to a black hole in space-if he goes in, he isn't coming out anytime soon.
Childbirth (child*brth) n. You get to go through 36 hours of contractions; he gets to hold your hand and say "focus,...breath...push..."
Park (park) v./n. Before children, a verb meaning, "to go somewhere and neck." After children, a noun meaning a place with a swing set and slide.
Patience (pa*shens) n. The most important ingredient for dating, marriage and children. See also "tranquilizers."
Waterproof Mascara (wah*tr*pruf mas*kar*ah) n. Comes off if you cry, shower, or swim, but will not come off if you try to remove it.
Valentine's Day (val*en*tinez dae) n. A day when you have dreams of a candlelight dinner, diamonds, and romance, but consider yourself lucky to get a card.

 

17 comments:

  1. Love them all... thanks for the giggle this morning..
    Have a great weekend Kim :-)

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  2. I have to send those to my husband:-)

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  3. These are funny, especially the mascara, and the grocery list. I had clipped a bunch of coupons the other day but when I got to the grocery store I realized they were on my dining room table at home!

    Happy Friday, Kim.
    Mary

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  4. Too funny! Um, but that Hair Dresser one...oy. I started to twitch, lolol

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  5. Piles of smiles!
    [{Clothes dryer (kloze dri*yer) n. An appliance designed to eat socks}].Never ceases to amaze me, where does those socks go,hehehe.
    Thanks for the smiles on this cloudy week,Happy Friday.
    ~Jo
    LazyonLoblolly

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  6. The definition for argument is so true!!!

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  7. Toooo funny!! I am going to have to read these to my DH! He will get a kick out of them :)

    Happy Friday Kim!

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  8. Needed these today...so funny! Blessings to you!

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  9. My favorite is the barbeque one!! It's so true!!!

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  10. LOL...Love them all. Too Cute and some of them so true!!
    Have a great weekend!
    Happy Valentines Day!

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  11. These are great! I like the mascara and the grocery list too! Only I wish they weren't true!!! Lol!

    Have a wonderful Weekend!

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  12. So funny my friend!! The diet soda one is so very true - LOL!

    Glad I got to chat with you a bit! Hope you had a lovely day!

    Big now-that-I-know-the-correct-definition-of-exercise-I-MUST-start-doing-it-every-day size hugs to you! Love ya! :)

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  13. Rofl!! These are all true So true!!! (;

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  14. You get a Valentine's Day card? LOL! Lisa~

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  15. I find it hysterically funny that you were on my blog and I am on your blog but we were both chatting on facebook instead, haha! Love ya!

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  16. Hi Kim! What a great idea for a linky party!! Loved your jokes and it gave me some giggles to start my Monday. I am your newest follower. Stop by for a visit when you have a chance.

    Love,
    Susan and Bentley
    xxoo

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